I WAS HERE

I've got my creative juice on. Maybe that is what I think. It's not necessary for it to be the truth but I just feel that way. I got one of those wake-up calls that make me change the way I am thinking, or at least, improve my previous thought patterns. 

 Today, at 1900hrs I indulged in watching some Youtube's videos and I should say, some inspired me. I started off with watching funny videos. I think most of us go to watch funny videos in Youtube. But as I gradually explored the videos, I got redirected to Beyonce's Live performance at the Humanitarian meeting or gala. The performance was that of the song 'I was here'. What can I say...I felt so inspired. I felt my eyes respond to that sensational performance.

It's not like I've never listened to that song before, but seeing her singing it live made me see the emotions that I never saw before. Remember how The Vampire Diaries made you love songs more when they played it in the background of a heart-touching scene? That's exactly how I felt when I saw Beyonce singing the song. It was so beautiful and she succeeded to convey the feeling so well!

I think I got my new mantra from her song...And that is...I WAS HERE..I LIVED I LOVED...I DID I'VE DONE. EVERYTHING THAT I WANTED AND IT WAS MORE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

Popularity is for losers!!!

If there is a day whereby I don't regret watching TV shows, it is today. I am not one to have lazy days, and even if I have lazy days, I never use them to watch TV shows. I'd prefer to read until am totally lost in the fiction world. Today, though, I felt so lazy to read. So I urged myself to watch something, anything interesting. The lucky TV show to get my attention was, drumroll, is 'Awkward!'

I enjoyed many episodes from that TV show, but nothing can really keep my attention for long. So I gave it a break and continued to pore on my long list of novels that I haven't yet finished. I am such an introvert; that, a good book is more interesting than a social encounter. I seriously need to work on that, but am trying to, though.

The episode interestingly talked about: how it feels to be popular, how the cyber-life really is and what is the best kind of social life to pursue.

How it feels to be popular

The episode depicted how a girl climbed the social ladder and instantaneously became popular. At first it felt so interesting for her, but things took a different toll. Popularity seems interesting when you view it as a third person. It doesn't mean that the one who is popular gets things easily. The girl thought that being popular is going to change her life, but really it doesn't. One would feel that being popular can make you feel different or not be the same person, but it doesn't, you'll still be you. 

I like to think of popularity as a career. Because you just don't wake up from your bed and say that I want to be popular. Even if you were born popular, you have to nourish it or else you'll fall out of the radar. Popularity entails every little thing you do. It includes stuff like: who you date, how you talk, walk, how you treat people, and in general, who you are as a person. Because popularity entails who you are as a person you need to change who you are to get the type of crowd you seek attention from.

The risk of being popular is that you will reach a point where you will lose yourself, and God forbid, you forget who you are. I am not saying that popularity is bad, but I am saying that if you can be popular and still be genuinely happy, then go for it!

How the cyber-life really is!

The cyber-life is such a fickle thing. It used to make me so insecure that I felt that I am no good. When people post pictures about their life and it makes you think if you are even living. One of my friends used to say that he can't stand people in Instagram because they were so self-centered. He used to say,''How can people post many selfies like that? They are so self-absorbed.'' What he used to complain is that people use Instagram to show off their life. People don't use Instagram to be proud of nature; maybe, just take a picture of an animal or scenery. Although he was a bit extreme, I get his point.

In the episode, it showed that the newly popular girl was invited to a get together with the popular kids. The funny thing is, the get together was really boring. She was also forced to kiss college guys just for show. To cover up for their boring time, they took selfies while smiling. It's like they wanted to make the world believe that they are having a great time while thy are not. How pathetic!

This also happens in real life. People use the cyber-world to make people believe that they are living in their own little fairytale while they are not. People post incredible pictures, portraying their incredible life, but most of it is just a lie! 

I used to feel so bad about having a sad, boring and plain lifestyle, and the cyber-world aggravated the situation. The thing I didn't know is that it doesn't necessarily mean that people are happy because of the pictures they post. After all, people want to give out their best side to the public. They won't care if it is true or the lengths they go to prove to the world that they are living a fantastic life. When all the facade comes down, they are like you and me. 

Don't get me wrong, but what I want to say is that you shouldn't feel bad because someone seems to have an interesting life in cyber-world. We shouldn't feel bad because we don't post the awe-striking pictures like other people do. Because in private, at least most of them, are like you and me!

Best kind of social life to pursue

If you have friends that will always love you through lengths of trials, then you have enough. If your normal life brings you popularity, enjoy it, but don't forget the little few who love you no matter what. Actually they are the ones that will constantly help you to figure out yourself in the best possible way.

Don't lose yourself, cause that is what that make you different from millions of people passing through the world. And popularity is such a fickle thing, you can't put it down on a complete lockdown. 

So live life in a way that portrays you in the best way possible. Let you inside sync with your outside...

Cheers guys!

My New Approach In Life

I am as rigid as one could be. I never want to do something that is out of the line or not really conventional. I love to do things that are curtailed down to schedule, and improvisation isn't one of my great of suits. This shouldn't be a problem to many; after all, being able to stay in a plan is good for success. But that isn't the same for me.

Because everything in my life is planned down on a paper, or my phone goal list, I don't like the idea of things not going the way I want. But that is pathetic because I can't be in control of things in my life. As Stephen Covey stressed, there are some things that are out of my zone of influence. I focus much on my concerns, which most of them are not in my zone of influence.

The situation gets out of hand sometimes. I have a tendency of discrediting myself when I fail to do things that I planned. There are somethings that I can not control, but if they don't go seemingly as I would want them to go, I feel like a total failure. 

Although this is an internal struggle, I am such a control freak. If possible, I would like to play God! I want to be able to control the way other people feel about me. I hate the thought of people falling out with me. I guess that is why I go out of my way to try and please everyone. It reached a time where I tried to put human emotions and reactions down to a science. I did that for a long time. If someone becomes rude to me, I feel that my qualities as a human are being downgraded. I feel the same way regardless the relationship I have with that person. I usually believe if I just controlled some patterns I could change the results(people's reactions), but I sadly figured out that humans aren't creatures of logic. 

I tried to use logic and well-planned action paths to ensure that I get the results that will have a win-win result. But I terribly failed! And I don't take failure so lightly. Failure hurts my ego. And a man without his ego is as better as dead! Emotionally dead not really dead!

To save myself, I had to find myself. And that is what I did.

Today was such a long day! I wanted to have a new approach that won't leave me as empty as the old one frequently left me.

I started by stimulating different emotions in me. I use music to guide me through every emotion...

The process was as follows:

1. I start by hitting rock bottom. This is a point whereby I make myself so low that I cry. I cry as if I lost something or something threatens my being. I remember the situation that makes me not happy and heighten it. It's like blowing the situation out of proportion. I use the following songs to do that: a) Photograph by Ed Sheeran, b) Fault in our stars by Troy Sivan, c) The scientist by Coldplay, d) White horse and last kiss by Taylor Swift and lastly, Tonight I want to cry by Keith Urban
2. After I hit rock bottom I find songs that will neutralize the situation. I do this because I usually don't want to make life altering decisions while I feel down. To do this, I listen to pump up songs. I use the following songs to pump myself up: a) 7/11 and love on top by Beyonce, b) Uptown funk by Bruno Mars c) Feeling Myself by Nicki Minaj d) Postcards by James Blunt e) Want to want me by Jason Derulo and lastly, Beauty and the beat by Justin Bieber.
3. Then, I use nature simulated sounds. Sounds like: birds chirping, ocean waves or thunderstorm. I use an app in the play store to get these sounds. At this point, I get to the diffused mode of thinking then make my new resolutions and approaches.
4. Lastly, I use motivational songs to prove to myself that I will stick to the new resolution. I use three songs for this. One is I was Here By Beyonce, the second is Don't rain on my Parade by Glee cast, and last is Defying gravity by Glee cast.

The resolution I got today is that I need to love myself. On how I plan to do that, I'll talk about it on the next blog post.

Gym:Where Everyone Wants To Be You, And You Want To be Everyone

I just love the gym! I had ideas of what my gym experience would be like. I will be surrounded by sexy males and females. People whose bodies are rightly proportioned. A place where I'll meet people who are so obsessed with their own appearance and care for their bodies enough not to want to ruin them.

Although some of those ideas proved to be true, most of them were on the contrary!

People in the gym, the gym I go to at least, are not physically fit. I wanted to find a person in the gym that would inspire me to be like them, but I found none! I may sound a bit critical, but I was a bit disappointed. I had high expectations of what I was going to find in the gym! 

The problems people in gym face are various!

Some people go to the gym without having any idea of what they want to achieve out of their workout sessions. Some people might come and ask you what workout you are performing, if you explain it to them, they want to do it also. I can't help but wonder if that was what they were aiming to do when they decided to come to the gym for that day.

Other people, luckily, have a clear goal of what they want to achieve, but they are using maps that are taking them to the wrong direction. A person may want to increase size, but they resort in having a high level of reps in their sets! While the simple trick that most people apply is that if you want to increase size, you have to perform a set having only 8-12 repetitions. I would give my opinion and my advice, but people who go to the gym have an extra amount of arrogance. So I let them work hard for nothing! OH, I am bad!

The last group of people is the one who have a misconception of what the ladies refer to as a sexy body. I speak for many ladies when I say, ''It's not the upper body and big arms only that make the ladies think that you are good looking.'' I know this guy at my gym who stresses mostly on his upper body. He looks like a human version of Johhny Bravo cartoon, no offense. He has a big upper body but a very embarrassing lower body. His thighs are so small and calves are tiny. So, what kind of body do ladies want? Simple, an X-shaped body. It simply means that you have to have broad shoulders, slim waist and big calves and thighs. So you should have a workout program that focuses on all those body parts!

As on the blogs title, there is another problem that happens in the gym. That problem is that many people want to be other people. I consider myself to have a modest looking body, but  most guys admitted that they want to have a body like mine. Funnily, I want to have their bodies too. I look at a guy and am like I'd like to look like you. How funny. So when a person tells me that they want to have a body like mine, I tell them that I want to have a body like theirs too. 

To cure that problem, I think many people should consider figuring out their goals before hitting the gym. You should undergo some kind of measurements to figure out how you ought to look like. For example, there is a measurement in Bodybuilding.com whereby you put you wrist measurement and they tell you how you're other parts such as  their chest, shoulders and waist should look like.

Another method that I find useful is to have a role-model. For example, My model is the model David Gandy. So, I know his body mass index and ensure that mine matches his. For example, David Gandy's body mass index is 24.3, so to achieve the same body mass index I'd need to weigh at about 73 kilograms. After figuring out his body mass index, I start looking at his measurements. I look at his chest measurements and try to match mine and his. I look at other parts of his body and do the same.

That is all for today, If you want to share your gym experience and problems that people face, you are welcome to comment.

The Misbehaving Cyber-World

I love the cyber-world, but there are sometimes that I want to howl at it. I mean you might have numerous contacts in your phone book but get no phone call. How pathetic! What is the point of having all those numbers if they are going to just be there, like ornaments! I seem to have taken a liking to complain lately, but I do have a reason to. The cyber-world just showed me a bitter-sweet kind of experience.

After long hours of ogling at my computer, I decided to make some useful phone calls. All of them had to do with my college application process. I try to call my number one source of college Information namely Nurdin, but he decided not to pick up. "Maybe he did not hear it," I made an excuse for him. It will be only fair to add that this is the third time that I had tried to call him today. After realizing that I will not succeed getting through Nurdin, I decide to call a backup source of Information namely Akhl. They are both Muslims. But interestingly, she does not pick up also. Maybe they are praying or giving out petitions, after all, it was 6 pm. 

I decided to call my Professor who I totally know that is Christian, or at least his name is a big tell. His name is Professor So. I called for a long time and the last time I did, he hang up on me. My phone's screen just wrote 'Line Busy' which means that he had dismissed my phone call. I have no right to complain, but I have every right to be mad. 

I finally resorted to talking to my uncle. His name is Erc! I called him just to hear my phoned saying that he is not available at the moment and that I should try to call him later. As if I have the time to call him later! I will be so occupied with .... whatever I am usually busy with.

                                                Things turn around    

I actually thought that I had some sort of cyber Ju-ju on me. I usually don't want to make myself focus on such absurd thoughts. So to divert my thoughts, I start playing a brain-racking game called Scrabble. I love that game in so many ways. It also could be that playing it makes me look and fell geeky. And plus, I hate the simple stuff, no offense to anyone reading this who likes simple games. After all it is just someone's choice and preference.

I am so immersed in my game when suddenly a text came from Akhl

Akhl:    Hey Robin

Me:       Hey Akhl, Did you go to college to apply

Akhl:      Yes I did actually.Last week! I had to take my result sleep and deliver it to the admission office. The whole process could take you like a week. What about you?

Me:  I did nothing, I was expecting an SMS or something confirming that I was accepted in college.

Akhl: No silly, you have to  do that tomorrow! Bye....Check you sometime soon!  

I felt like an idiot! I don't know why I didn't know this early. But there is no point of sitting down and pout. With that information in mind, I decided to call my uncle and update him too. This time, he picked up his phone promptly. He seemed a little down, though, but I had to to talk to him. He told me that we will have to talk in some days. That was such a typical accountant method!

I resort to quit the cyber-world and deal with the real world. I started to socialize with my family. Not so long I hear my notification sound beeping like it's on loop. I check my phone to find SMS from four different people. I was happy that after all, my contacts are not ghosts. I wanted to chat, but I was not in the mood. But the thing that I've always learned is that you need to be there for people when they need you. So I decided to heed their call and chat with them.

Our conversations were funny and very informal. It was a typical youngster chat, with all the cliches! 

Although I didn't want to be rude, I had to wish them all good night. I was tired and my phone's battery was running low. A thing about us youngsters is that when you wish them goodnight, they act as if the conversation has just started. That is a good thing. It shows that you have meaningful and funny conversations. But sometimes, a guy just needs to go to bed! And that is what I did. I went to bed and ignored the texts, hope they didn't mind.

While feeling slightly guilty for not replying their texts, I couldn't help but be angry. I was angry with the cyber-world. WHY CAN'T THE CYBER-WORLD BE ACTIVE WHEN YOU WANT IT TO????

 

My New Hobby

Two days ago I woke up to find myself bored and having nothing. I don't want to seem dramatic, but the nothing I meant is that I felt lost. I was and still am on a college holiday, but it seems so long! I have nothing to do, and as you must have guessed, I am an introvert. Maybe that is just something I tell myself so that I miss out on all social invitations. It's not that I cannot handle social encounters, it is just that I feel drained after socializing with people. I usually just want to lay low and enjoy an interesting book or listen to a podcast. So you can say why my holidays seem to suck.

 I mean I can't just wake up early in the morning to do the same things and follow the same schedule. I started to ask myself what I would do that would consume me and  make me so into it that I would not feel lonely. I had a hard time figuring out what to do as a hobby. I considered reading novels  but figured out that I read as a part of my schedule. So reading can't possibly be my hobby because I do it subconsciously. It reached a point that I was about to give up on finding out my calling.

 As soon as I began to lose hope, I decided to procrastinate by watching a TV show. That TV show is so chick-lit, but I found it to be interesting. The TV show is called awkward. It stresses on the life of a girl who seems to have a hard time being a teenage girl. I liked that show because I can relate to that girl in so many ways although I am a guy. The main character of the TV show is Jenna. She is the girl whose life is being portrayed throughout the whole movie. Jenna uses blogging as a way to vent out the stress in her life. I thought it was amazing! So, just like that I started this blog.

 I plan to share my daily experiences and draw out a lesson out of them. I hope and am sure that you can relate to them because if you are a teenager, then we face the same things. Maybe not exactly the same things they can be of the same nature. So this blog is to share my thought with countless fellow youngsters like me worldwide. I hope we can enjoy our cyber-connection together. I will be happy to see all of your comments and experiences.